| Deep Spring Center for Meditation and Spiritual Inquiry |
| Meditation |
This is the Deep Spring Center Meditation page. The links on this page lead to information on meditation as well as meditation practice instruction.
Deep Spring Center offers regular meditation classes and retreats to teach and nurture this practice. Please see the Classes and Retreats pages for further information.
The fundamental meditation practice that we teach is called insight meditation, or, traditionally, Vipassana meditation. Insight meditation is a simple and direct practice: the moment to moment investigation of the mind/body process through calm, focused awareness. Through this practice we increase our ability to live each moment being fully present in that moment. We increase our ability to be aware of, and more comfortable with, our thoughts, emotions and body. We decrease our need to hide from the experiences that life offers. It has been said that insight meditation cultivates a “choiceless awareness.”
Contents
| Printable (pdf) version of Vipassana Instructions |
Beginning
It is helpful to establish mindfulness of body at the beginning of practice. We tend to be less in our bodies and more in our minds and the content of thoughts. When we do formal practice such as sitting, standing, and walking meditation, we first need to learn to be in the body. Awareness of posture is helpful here, as is awareness of breath and of physical sensations. Then we expand our awareness beyond body sensations to awareness of emotions and other aspects of mind.
If you sit on the floor, you may be most comfortable with a zabuton2 or a cushion or blanket that you can place beneath your ankles and feet and knees, so that they are cushioned from the hardness of the floor. A zafu3 or other cushioning underneath your buttocks will lift your spine. Position the cushion so that you're not sitting on the flat surface and rolling backward, but rather sitting on the forward edge of the cushion so that your pelvis tips under and the spine is naturally lengthening upwards. You may also sit on a chair. It should have a flat surface or even tilt forward slightly. Place the feet slightly apart. Sit with the back erect. Try to sit without leaning back. Whether you sit on a cushion or chair, let the hands rest comfortably on the lap or be cupped one hand inside the other.
At the beginning of the sitting, it may be helpful to take a few deep, long breaths, inhaling, and then slowly exhaling. As you exhale, allow your body to release tension in those areas where you habitually hold it—perhaps the shoulders, chest, stomach, or the back. With each exhalation, feel your body soften and relax.
To bring awareness to your posture, start with the base of the body, noticing the position of the buttocks and knees as a tripod. Bring your attention to this foundation. Notice the position of the legs and the pelvis.
You are not lifting the spine from the top or the bottom. Rather, bring awareness to the erector muscles on either side of the spine; these lengthen the spine gently upward toward the shoulder blades. You may feel as if gentle hands supported erectness by lifting under the edges of the rib cage. Feel a little bit of lifting under the shoulder blades too, lifting without tensing the lower back. Allow the lower back muscles to relax.
As you experience this gentle lifting beneath the rib cage, beneath the shoulder blades, see that there's some space created between the bottom of your rib cage and your pelvis. Feel it lengthen..
Roll the shoulders back; let the tops of the shoulders fall away from the ears. The tops of the shoulders are relaxed. Notice some roundness and curvature where the upper arm meets the shoulder socket. You can have your hands cupped one inside the other on your lap, perhaps the thumbs touching together, or rest them on your thighs if that is more comfortable. Each position has its own benefits. See what fits you. There are no fixed rules.
Tuck in the chin slightly while the throat remains soft and relaxed; gently push backward on the upper lip. The throat and the neck remain relaxed, untensed, as are all the facial muscles. Feel a sense of gentle hands lifting the head, just below and behind the ears, skull softly lifted to erectness.
Relax the skin of the forehead down toward your eyes. Let the eyes be soft, the eyelids gently covering your eyes, unless you're used to meditating with your eyes open. If you are accustomed to practice with the eyes open and are comfortable like that, that's fine. The area behind the eyes is relaxed; the corners of the eyes are smiling.
You may wish to focus the closed eyes on the inner wall of the forehead, the third eye. See it as a blank screen upon which the inner gaze rests.
Invite the facial muscles to soften, relaxing from the inside out. Any tightness in the face, any holding, can release. As you smile and relax into your body, tension can let go.
Let the lower jaw hang open so that the lips separate a bit and any tension in the joints of the jaw can release. Invite a slight smile in the corners of the mouth, the inner smile, Buddha smile, a feeling of lightness in the corners of the mouth.
Smile into the moment and into your body. Be aware of any sensations as you smile into your body. Perhaps sensations are apparent, perhaps not; either way, it's okay.
Bring gentle awareness to the throat, smiling into the mid-area of the throat, the Adam's apple area. Move awareness down into the base of the throat, your jugular notch.
Smile down into the chest, left side of the chest, left lung, right side of the chest, right lung. Smile into the body. Experience it. Establish mindfulness in the present moment, mindfulness of body.
Smile into the heart center, in the area of the physical heart. Touch the heart with awareness.
Smile into the abdomen. Take a deep breath into the chest or the abdomen. Take a deep breath, hold it momentarily, and then slowly exhale. As you do, feel the chest and stomach relax. Do that two or three times: silent deep breaths, each exhale offered with awareness. Relax into your body.
As you smile into the abdomen, let it be soft. Soft belly, Buddha belly. No holding of any tension in the stomach. Let go of fear. Relax the abdomen.
As you breath, you may notice a slight lifting in your sternum, as though there were a string tied to your sternum and it were being lifted up on an angle.
Right now, you are breathing, a natural function of your body. With mindfulness of breathing, you simply turn attention to this process that is happening already. Your body is breathing in, and it's breathing out. Anapanasati translates as mindfulness of breathing—simply be aware when you're breathing in, aware when you're breathing out. It's taking one breath at a time. Know when you're breathing in, and know when you're breathing out. Breathing in, be aware of the whole body. Breathing out, be aware of the whole body.
(Some time of practice)
Breathing
Allow a smile in the corners of your eyes and mouth, an inner smile, just an inner feeling of lightness in the corners of your eyes and mouth. Call it Buddha smile. It's a radiance, a lightness.
Focus on the breath as the primary object. Be aware of the breath at the nostrils or wherever it's clearest to you. If your normal breathing is through the mouth, be aware of the breath coming and going through the mouth.
Notice the physical sensation of the breath touching at mouth or nostrils, the coolness of the in-breath, the warm softness of the out-breath.
Know when you're breathing in; know when you're breathing out. Allow the breath to find its own rhythm and flow. You are not controlling it, just observing it, trusting in the body and the breath. Knowing when you're breathing in, and knowing when you're breathing out, your breath becomes the primary object.
Know when you are breathing in. Know when you are breathing out. Know when you are breathing in a long breath. Know when you are breathing out a long breath. Know when you are breathing in a short breath. Know when you are breathing out a short breath.
Sometimes it can be helpful to extend and lengthen the breath at the beginning of a sitting, so that you begin to focus on the entirety of the inhalation and the exhalation, and on the pauses or apertures between the inhalation and the exhalation and between the exhalation and the inhalation.
This pause between the breath is the now, just this very moment. Noticing this aperture helps to bring you more deeply into the present moment and concentrates the mind; awareness also brings us deep into the heart center.
Experience your breath as a circle. There is a beginning portion of the inhalation, a middle of the inhalation, and then the later part of the inhalation, a slight pause in the breath, and then the beginning of the exhalation, the middle portion of the exhalation, and the end of the exhalation. A slight pause, and, again, the beginning of the inhalation, and the whole cycle begins once again.
As you allow the breath to become more subtle and natural, you may not sense the entire length of the inhalation or the exhalation. That's okay. Become aware of as much of the breath as possible.
Know when you're breathing in and know when you're breathing out, when you're breathing in a long breath and when you're breathing in a short breath. Breathing in, allow the whole body to be calm and at peace. Breathing out, allow the whole body to be calm and at peace.
As the mind begins to slow down, and becomes more calm and focused, awareness penetrates more deeply. The full length and duration of the breath and the pauses between the exhalation and the inhalation become more noticeable.
(Some time of practice)
Natural Concentration
The breath is the primary object, but concentration is not held here with force. With natural concentration, you focus attention on what is dominant in your experience. If a physical sensation, thought, image, or emotion pulls attention away from the breath, know that your attention has moved from the breath. Know when your attention has moved to physical sensation, thinking, image, or emotion.
People sometimes think, because a strong sensation, thought, image, or emotion draws their attention and they're not with the breath, that they're not meditating, that they're being distracted, or that they're not concentrating. Actually, focusing upon that strong sensation develops deeper concentration, because the mind is holding to an object. That's a very powerful focus. It's a fine opportunity to develop concentration and mindfulness.
Remember, it's not better to be with one object than another, not better to be with the breath than with a physical sensation, image, thought, or emotion. Be with whatever is the predominant experience in the moment.
If you find that an intense sensation keeps pulling your attention away from the breath towards that sensation, turn your attention to it. Lightly note it, creating some space for the experience, placing awareness on the sensation.
If the sensation is unpleasant, watch the tendency to want to push the sensation away, to not want it. Without judgment of the aversion, just notice what arises. Move deeply into the sensation and see how it may change, how it may not be one block of pain, one strong sensation, but little sensations that are arising, changing, and ceasing with varying levels of intensity.
If the sensation is pleasant, watch the tendency to want to hold on to it. Let there be no judgment of the attachment, just notice it arise. How does sensation change as you touch it with merciful, nonjudgmental awareness? What about the attachment to that pleasant sensation?
Are some sensations neutral, calling up neither like nor dislike?
As you create room for a physical sensation, you may find that it moves to another part of the body, from the shoulders down to the back, to a different part of the back, or to the legs. Stay with the experience as long as you are able without doing violence to your body or to yourself. Learn how to work skillfully with meditation and strong bodily sensations.
If tightness in the legs or back or itching, tingling, pain, any physical sensation becomes predominant, turn your attention to the sensation and note it three times: "sensation, sensation, sensation." If you prefer, note it more specifically as, "tingling, tingling, tingling," "tightness, tightness, tightness," or "itching, itching, itching." Don't note it as, "I have pain in my right knee," which snares you into the story of the pain and a self who owns that discomfort. Just observe the sensation and note it in any appropriate way.
As you turn your awareness to the sensation, notice what happens to it. Does it disappear immediately? Does it fade gradually? Does it intensify? Lessen in intensity? Move about? Change into another sensation?
When you find a sensation changing in any way, bring you attention back to the breath as the primary object. Know you have returned to the breath. Know when you're breathing in; know when you're breathing out.
As you're aware of your breathing, thoughts may arise. They may be memories or planning thoughts, judging thoughts, or fantasies. If the thoughts become predominant, if you find yourself more with the thoughts than with the breath, bring your attention to the thought.
Note a thought of the past as, "remembering, remembering, remembering." Watch what happens as you note it. Does it disappear immediately? Does it fade gradually? Does it persist or turn into another thought? What's the nature of it?
Is there a planning thought, a future-oriented thought? Note it as, "planning, planning, planning," or as, "fantasizing, fantasizing, fantasizing." Watch and see how it changes as you watch it.
When the thought is no longer predominant or changes in some way, gently bring the attention back to the breath as the primary object. Know when you're breathing in; know when you're breathing out.
You may have an image that arises in your mind. Some people experience their minds more in images than in thoughts. Treat the image the same way as the thought. If, for example, an image arises of you seeing and talking to someone, and if that experience is strong enough to bring attention away from the breath, turn your attention to that image. Note it as, "seeing, seeing, seeing."
What happens to the image when you touch it with awareness? What is the nature of this object? Does it change when you focus your attention upon it? When the image no longer predominates, bring your attention back to the breath as the primary object.
If emotion arises and predominates, know that you are experiencing that emotion. Note it as, "anger, anger, anger," or perhaps as, "fear, fear, fear," or bliss, joy, jealousy, restlessness, boredom—whatever it may be. Again, note, "anger, anger, anger," not, "I'm feeling angry about what he said," so as not to become entangled in the story, only to know that this mind-body is experiencing anger.
What happens as you note it? Does it strengthen? Fade? Change? Dissolve? When it is no longer predominant, move awareness back to the breath.
Know when you are breathing in. Know when you are breathing out. Know when you are breathing in a long breath. Know when you are breathing out a long breath. Know when you are breathing in a short breath. Know when you are breathing out a short breath. Breathing in and breathing out, be aware of the whole body and mind.
(some time of practice)
Deepening
If the physical sensation, thought, image, or emotion returns and is predominant, again move awareness to it—gentle, nonjudgmental awareness. Let it be choiceless awareness that moves to whatever is predominant in the mind and body.
If the sensation, thought, or emotion has returned and called awareness to it, there is something there that needs to be investigated, not by probing and theorizing but by observing, by being fully present with that sensation, thought, or feeling and allowing it to be present within the mind-body.
Choiceless awareness. No preference of the breath, the thought, the sensation. Being fully with whatever is. No judgment. Observing.
When sensation, thought, or emotion changes or is no longer predominant, invite awareness back to the breath.
Know when you are breathing in. Know when you are breathing out. Know when you are breathing in a long breath. Know when you are breathing out a long breath. Know when you are breathing in a short breath. Know when you are breathing out a short breath.
See how you relate to sensation, thought, or emotion when it arises. Is there a desire to push it away, not to want it because it's unpleasant? Is there a desire to hold onto it when it is pleasant?
Mindfulness of physical sensations can teach us a lot about our relationship with our body and about our patterns of attachment and aversion. If a pleasant sensation like tingling, moving of energy, or a feeling of lightness in the body becomes predominant, turn your attention to it and note it as, "tingling, tingling, tingling," or "lightness, lightness, lightness." What happens to it as you touch it with awareness? Does it disappear immediately? Does it fade gradually? Does it intensify? Does it change into another sensation?
How do you relate to the situation? Is there a tendency to want to hold onto the sensation because it's pleasant? Is there attachment to the continuation of the sensation in the body? Can you experience the bodily sensation with equanimity, noting it, seeing what happens to it?
What if it is an unpleasant sensation, like pain, tightness, or burning? What happens to it when you touch it with awareness? Does it fade, move, intensify, change? Is there a desire to push it away, to get rid of it? Can you just experience the unpleasant sensation with equanimity, noting it and watching to see what happens to it?
Notice how the primary object changes. First the sensation may be predominant. If it is an unpleasant sensation, aversion may arise, followed by a strong desire to be free of that sensation. There is a shift in experience. The sensation is no longer predominant. The desire energy now holds the attention. See this shift in object and return to the breath. If the aversion or desire comes back, note it as, "wanting, wanting, wanting," and be with it until it changes or dissolves.
Notice the same process with the arising of thought, image, or emotion. Is there a desire to hold onto the pleasant, to get rid of the unpleasant? Can you watch that liking, followed by the next primary object, desire, or attachment—wanting to hold on to? Can you watch aversion, followed by wanting to get rid of? What happens to the attachment or aversion when you watch it? Remember that the sensation or emotion is no longer primary. Let it go gently and be with the mood of mind that has arisen with the object.
If fear arises about what is observed, and if the fear becomes predominant, allow that to become the focus. "Fear, fear, fear." What happens to the fear as it is watched? Can awareness watch fear without fear? Can there be equanimity even with fear? What is the texture of fear? How does it feel in the body? When it changes or loses its intensity, return again to the breath as primary object.
Know when you are breathing in. Know when you are breathing out. Know when you are breathing in a long breath. Know when you are breathing out a long breath. Know when you are breathing in a short breath. Know when you are breathing out a short breath. Breathing in, be aware of the activities of the mind. Breathing out, be aware of the activities of the mind.
Can there be no judgment of what you're experiencing? If judgment arises, note, "judgment, judgment, judgment." Judgment is just a mental formation, a specific kind of thought that also carries a body tension. As you note it, see what happens to it; see its impermanence, its emptiness. Can we watch with equanimity as judgment arises, without judgment of that experience? When judgment is no longer predominant, bring the attention back to the breath as the primary object. Breathing in; breathing out. Breathing in and breathing out.
If the primary object is a physical sensation and is so strong and accompanied by such strong aversion that it no longer feels possible to stay with it, you can move.
Before you move, see the intention to move. The body doesn't move automatically. The mind must give the impulse for the body to move. If pain leads to intention to move the position of the legs, for instance, be aware of that intention, and then mindfully shift position to ease the discomfort. Be aware of the sensations, aware of the intention, aware of the movement. Meditation continues; there's no break in the continuity of the awareness. Note the ease also, then return to the breath, breathing in and breathing out, breathing in, pause, breathing out.
As thoughts arise, if they're strong enough to draw attention away from the breath, treat them the same way as bodily sensations. Sometimes emotion feels intense. You cannot shift positions to escape the pain of thoughts or emotions. Can you watch them and make space for them? What happens to the emotion or thought as you note it? Does it disappear, fade, intensify, lessen in intensity, or turn into another memory or thought pattern? See its impermanent, empty nature. It changes or dissolves in time. When you see a change in some way, and the specific thought or emotion is no longer predominant, bring your attention back to the breath as the primary object.
Remember, that which is aware of a painful emotion like fear or anger is not afraid or angry. Learn to rest in that awareness, not as a way to escape the painful experience, but as a way to create more space with it. When awareness watches fear, see the simultaneous possibility of fear and non-fear. It is not necessary to destroy fear to find the fearless. It is not necessary to destroy anger to find loving-kindness. Both exist together.
It may be helpful to feel the sensation the emotion brings to the body, such as tightness in the belly with anger, and focus there. Soften around that tension, with a kind presence. What happens to the anger when the belly softens?
Know when you are breathing in. Know when you are breathing out. Know when you are breathing in a long breath. Know when you are breathing out a long breath. Know when you are breathing in a short breath. Know when you are breathing out a short breath. Breathing in and out, be aware of the activities of mind.
(some time of practice)
Insight
In insight meditation, we want to see the nature of body and mind and of all the five aggregates—form, feeling, perception, mental formation, and consciousness. Watch them arise and pass away. Watch them change. Notice the interrelationships between them, not thinking about these interrelationships, just noticing, observing the constant movement.
You may have a deeper insight into the impermanence of these aggregates and the emptiness of self therein. Observe body and mind, sensations, thoughts, feelings, perception, consciousness.
You may begin to notice that all phenomena, which are empty of a separate self, arise when conditions are present to lead to their arising. When those conditions cease, the phenomena fade.
Let there be no judgment of what is seen, no preference for the place awareness shines. Be fully with what is, observing.
If preference or judgment is seen, notice that—"preferring, preferring, preferring," or "judging, judging, judging." No judgment about the preferring or judging. There is space for it all to float in choiceless awareness.
When sensation, thought, image, or emotion changes or is no longer predominant, move awareness back to the breath.
Objects arising, dissolving, always in motion, impermanent, empty of self.
Consider the lines from the Heart Sutta:
…All dharmas are empty.
They are not born nor annihilated.
They are not defiled nor immaculate.
They do not increase, nor decrease.
So in emptiness, no form, no feeling, no perception, no mental formation, no consciousness….
No knowledge, no attainment, no realization, For there is nothing to attain….
See the illusion of permanent self dissolve as awareness penetrates and knows the illusion. Moving deeper, beyond the small self, beyond aversion and attachment, beyond ignorance.
Find space for all experience to float in that heart we all share. Rest in the vehicle of choiceless awareness.
Become aware of awareness itself. See objects arise out of spaciousness and dissolve back in to spaciousness. Become aware of the nature of that which sees, that which knows. Gradually, you will rest in the Unconditioned itself, seeing conditioned phenomena come and go like clouds through an empty sky.
Know when you are breathing in. Know when you are breathing out. Know when you are breathing in a long breath. Know when you are breathing out a long breath. Know when you are breathing in a short breath. Know when you are breathing out a short breath. Breathing in and out, observing the impermanent nature of all dharmas. Breathing in and out, observing the fading of all dharmas. Breathing in and out and contemplating letting go.
Grasp at nothing. Cling to nothing. Push away nothing in your experience. Be present. Be mindful. Be aware.
It is a gentle, timeless process. Just watching it all unfold. Choiceless awareness. All experience floating in the open heart.
1 From Barbara Brodsky and John Orr
2 Zabuton: a flat cushion that goes under the body and feet.
3 Zafu: a round support cushion
Lovingkindness Meditation Instructions
Traditionally this meditation begins with the self. I find that in your culture it is very difficult for many people to offer loving wishes to themselves so we begin with one to whom it is easier to offer such thoughts and then come around to the self.
This is not forgiveness, which is a further step, but only opening your heart to the pain, the pain of all beings, and wishing them well.
There is no wrong or right way to do this practice. If resistance arises, simply note it and re-enter the meditation in whatever way you are able. You are not requested to dive all the way in but only to enter as deeply as is comfortable.
As you work with this practice, please modify it and make it your own.
Aaron
(To be read to/by a friend or done by oneself. Space indicates a pause. The word “pause” indicates a longer pause.)
Aaron: Find a comfortable position, body relaxed, back erect, eyes closed softly.
Bring to the heart and mind the image of one who for whom there is loving respect. This may be a dear friend, parent, teacher or any being with whom the primary relationship is one in which you have been nurtured.
Look deeply at that being, deeper than you ever have before, and see that he or she has suffered. He has felt pain of the body or the heart. She has known grief, loss and fear. He has felt loneliness and disconnection. She has lost and confused. See the ways this dear one has suffered.
Speaking silently from the heart, note this one’s pain, offering first the name:
You have suffered. I see how you have felt alone, afraid, in pain. You have felt grief. You have felt alienated, felt your heart closed. Your life has not always brought you what you might have wished for.
What loving thoughts can you offer this dear one? Let the thoughts come with the breath, arising and moving out.
May you be free of suffering.
May you be happy.
May you love and be loved.
May you find the healing that you seek.
May you find peace.
Please continue silently, repeating these phrases for several minutes. Go slowly. Allow your heart to connect with this dear one, to open to his/her pain and offer these wishes, prompted by the loving heart.
(Pause)
Now let this loved one move aside and in his / her place invite in your own self. It is sometimes so hard to open our hearts to ourselves. What blocks that love? Just for experiment sake, please follow the practice and see how it feels, even if it is difficult.
Look deeply at the self and observe that, just as with the loved one, you have suffered. You have felt pain of the body or the heart. You have known grief, loss and fear. You have felt loneliness and disconnection, felt lost and confused. See the ways you have suffered. Without engaging in maudlin self-pity, simply observe the wounds you have borne.
Speaking silently from the heart, this time to your own self. Offer your name:
I have suffered. I see how I have felt alone, afraid, in pain. I have felt grief. I have felt alienated, felt my heart closed. My life has not always brought I what I might have wished for.
What do you wish for yourself?
May I be free of suffering.
May I be happy.
May I love and be loved.
May I find the healing that I seek.
May I find peace.
Please continue silently, repeating these phrases for several minutes. Go slowly. Allow your heart to connect with your deepest self, to open to your pain and longing and offer these wishes, prompted by the loving heart. I will be quiet.
(Pause)
Now let the self move aside and in its place invite in one with whom there has been hard feeling. Best not to choose the heaviest relationship at first but allow practice with less difficult pain and move slowly to the heavier emotions.
It is so painful to maintain that separation. A wise teacher has said, “Never put anyone out of your heart.” What blocks opening?
Letting go …
Just for experiment sake, please follow the practice and see how it feels, even if it is difficult. Please express your own pain too, as you speak to this one. Can you feel the space where your pain is one?
Give this one’s name. Speak from your heart.
You have hurt me, through your words, your acts, even your thoughts.
Through what came from you I have experienced pain.
Yet when I look deeply, I see that you have also known pain. You have suffered. I see how you have felt alone, afraid, in pain. You have felt grief. You have felt alienated, felt your heart closed. Your life has not always brought you what you might have wished for.
May you be free of suffering.
May you be happy.
May you love and be loved.
May you find the healing that you seek.
May you find peace.
Please continue silently, repeating these phrases for several minutes. Go slowly. Allow your heart to connect with this one, to open to his/her pain and offer these wishes, prompted by the loving heart. I will be quiet.
(Pause)
Throughout the world, beings suffer. Not only humans but plants, insects, animals, even the earth herself.
May all beings everywhere be free of suffering.
May all beings be happy.(Bell)
May all love and be loved.
May all find the healing that they seek.(Bell)
May all beings everywhere find perfect peace.
(Bell)
Barbara: At Deep Spring Center we teach insight, or vipassana, meditation. The Sanskrit word “passana” literally means “seeing.” Vipassana is a deeper, clearer seeing. This practice derives from Buddhist teachings, but at Deep Spring it’s not taught as a religion, but as spiritual practice. The practice includes no religious ritual and requires no special religious beliefs. People are free to follow a form, such as bowing at the start of a sitting, if they choose, but there is no pressure to do so or not to do so. The meditation practices are harmonious with and enriching to any belief system.
Some people come to meditation simply looking for a practice to relieve stress. It can be that, but as we look deeper into ourselves, we do seem to find that spirit is included; thus, we call it a “spiritual practice.” The reason we call it “spiritual” practice is twofold.
Much of our stress and our scatteredness comes from not knowing who we are. We mistakenly view ourselves as separate, not knowing from deep experience that core which connects us to the earth and each other.
As Thoreau succinctly phrased it, “most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” What is that desperation about and how does it lead us into stress and suffering? Meditation is not just another attempt to fix the pain in our lives, to finally find a workable solution outside of ourselves that we may grasp at and lean on, but a way of finding the truth within ourselves. Rather than striving to get rid of stress and scatteredness of focus, we start to look at what separates us from our natural state of focus, calmness and joy. Then we’re not creating additional stress and fragmentation by continuing the lifelong patterns of grasping and aversion, but letting go of those patterns and coming back to our true selves, resolving our fragmentation. I consider this work to be inherently “spiritual”-not “religious,” that’s different-but spiritual.
We start to learn the difference between pleasure and happiness. We grasp at pleasures but find they’re fleeting. Then we look to the next pleasure. True happiness lies within ourselves and is not fleeting, doesn’t need to be chased. Our culture has conditioned us to pleasures. I find that happiness, once again, comes from knowing who we are, knowing our relationship to all that is, and befriending ourselves with an unconditional acceptance which transcends the oft-learned judgments of our lives-again, “spiritual practice.”
Another way we create much pain for ourselves is by our inability to live in this moment. There’s nothing wrong with planning, but when we’re planning, we seldom KNOW we’re planning. We use it as a way of escaping our lives. Often, attention is scattered. We find little real joy and peace in this moment. We stop for a cup of tea; while we drink it, we plan the afternoon, trying to free the schedule to fit in the game of tennis. We rush through the work, and reach the courts. Through the tennis match, thoughts of the evening meeting intrude.
How we may learn to live more fully in this moment is a primary focus of insight meditation. We find much peace and happiness, and deeper ability to concentrate on the work at hand, when we learn such focus. We begin to understand what continually pulls us out of the moment and to not need to do that so much . And we find more kindness and patience toward ourselves when we DO repeat those old patterns! In learning kindness toward ourselves, we learn it toward others!
Outgrowths of the practice for students are often stress reduction and lessening of long-standing physical ailments like back pain and migraine. However, the teachings are not to reduce stress and pain, but to help people see their patterns of being more clearly, see for themselves what really has created that dissatisfaction or pain and begin to let go.
If we meditate to get rid of stress, that so easily becomes just another goal to grasp, another place to succeed or fail. We just repeat the pattern using meditation as we’ve used success with work, money, power, relationship and other such goals, and create still more suffering when we can’t get rid of stress. This only reinforces the patterns of grasping and denial which fragment us. Also, if the focus were just to reduce pain or stress, people would become dependent on a technique. The meditation technique is only a tool to deeper awareness. That awareness is what offers freedom from stress. We’re not learning this to become meditators but to become more whole, free, loving humans. These teachings offer freedom, not dependence-freedom through deeper inner awareness.
I’m often asked how vipassana differs from other forms of meditation. There are infinite styles of meditation which seem to fall into two categories. One (the one vipassana is NOT) is a fixed focus meditation such as the mantra meditation used by TM. Here, concentration is developed and the practitioner is led to deeper levels of calmness and a different experience of the world through that deepened focus. Coming out of the meditation, the meditator may carry the calm with him/ her for some length of time, and may learn to restore that calm by moving back into the meditative state. However, there is often difficulty integrating meditation and daily life.
Insight meditation uses concentration too. It is not one focused but what we call “natural concentration.” The breath is our primary object and we begin there, resting attention lightly on the experience of the inhalation and exhalation. We find we can’t stay there except by force. Mind shifts naturally to whatever moves through us. We simultaneously remain concentrated and allow focus to move to whatever is predominant in the experience at the moment, to rest there lightly and watch the sensation, thought, emotion or whatever is present with as much clarity, as little clinging or aversion as is possible. If aversion or clinging do arise, we watch that! As whatever has arisen dissolves itself or changes, we return to rest again in the experience of the breath. And again! Thus, insight meditation emphasizes a combination of focused concentration (quietness of mind) and penetrative, transcendent awareness.
We differ from various schools of Zen in that we don’t use anything outside of the moment, like a koan, but find the natural koan in our lives. There is also no form and ritual as in Zen. Since it is free of Buddhist ritual, it often feels more suitable to those who do not consider themselves to be Buddhist. Yes, one can also be Buddhist; vipassana is the core of traditional Theravadin Buddhist practice. But it fits very comfortably with other religious beliefs. Finally, this working with natural concentration and observing the conditioned nature of arising is unique to vipassana. Through deep awareness we come to see how that arising and dissolution is empty of a self, how everything arises when the conditions are present for it, and ceases when the conditions cease. Such understanding allows us much space and freedom from old reactivity, as we see the habitual patterning of our thoughts and feelings and begin to let go of ownership of these patterns. Zen comes to the same understandings of the characteristics of suffering, emptiness and impermanence through a somewhat different route.
The deepest focus in vipassana is moment to moment mindfulness. It’s really a very simple practice, just resting calmly in whatever is, noticing the movements of mind without fixation on what arises. It opens us deeply to all we have closed off in ourselves, ends our fragmentation and dissolves our sense of separation from ourselves and the world. It’s a gentle practice yet it takes commitment and courage to look that deeply. Those who choose to take this route inevitably find a deeper sense of peace and at-one-ment with themselves and the world. We don’t meditate to fix or change anything, just to be with what is, but as we see deeper into the truths of what is, we do let go of our fears and rigidity and allow a softness and kindness that have been hidden inside us to emerge.
Deep Spring Center is a non-profit organization which offers regular meditation classes and retreats to teach and nurture this practice. Please let us know if you have further questions.
Buddhism: A Non-denominational Translation
Barbara: Looking back, I feel Deep Spring Center began in a fortunate way, unfettered by bonds to any specific tradition. My own spiritual path for much of my life was as a Quaker and through Quakerism I found my introduction to meditation. Through three decades my meditation practice evolved into practices akin to vipassana and dzogchen but free of labels, forms and cultural attachments. When I finally directly met Buddhism itself, my meditation was already well established. Thus, I was able to try on the forms and experience them deeply without any sense of attachment or obligation to a specific tradition
When I began to teach I did so totally without outer form or ritual. Most of those individuals drawn to join me were not Buddhists. They were followers of all religions and of none, people who aspired to live with more love and skill, people who realized that an experiential understanding of mind/body process and a deeper opening into the heart of being were paths to freedom. Within a few years, Deep Spring Center was established as a non-profit, non-denominational center for the teaching and practice of nonduality. Thus, the Center found itself in a different situation than dharma centers which reflect a specific tradition and incorporate the forms of that tradition into the practices. The foundation practice was simply a balance of insight meditation and various purification and heart-centered practices.
If this dharma door was to be accessible to people, it was important not to lodge the teachings in any one system of thought but to use whatever language gave people clearest access. If through vipassana practice I experience emptiness or impermanence, these are not “Buddhist” experiences. Resting in pure heart/mind is not an opening to “Buddhist” awareness. Of course these are universal truths or they would not be truths. Buddhism provides a vehicle to point us to the experience and a terminology with which to discuss those truths.
What phrasing will make these teachings/practices available to a non-Buddhist student? What will obscure it? I was moved on a ten day retreat by the experience of a deeply Catholic woman, weighed down by an inner sense of unworthiness, bent posture reflecting that weight. We worked with vipassana and also with tonglen, or “giving/taking” practice. I had suggested that as she worked with tonglen, drawing in suffering, she release it to Jesus. After some days she knocked on my door late one night, positively radiant, standing tall instead of stooped, and announced to me that the unworthiness was gone. “Jesus took it,” she reported.
I came to see that, like myself, many students had been alienated by the outer trappings of the religions in which they were raised. Of course, at best the forms are expression of the essence but often that was not what we experienced. We had looked for depth from spirituality and found what at first glance seemed to be only empty ritual and words. With such confused childhood models, we grew to refuse those forms as we sought essence.
Yet, as the guiding teacher, I had to ask what we had lost by not participating in these traditions? What part of that which has been lost is frill and what’s essential and how do we replace the essential without immersing ourselves in specific religious or cultural tradition? The answers are only slowly emerging. Our present approach is not an answer with a capital “A.” It is a path, ever evolving because each person who walks through the door is unique and will have their own best way of entering it. I find this whole path is part of our creation of a unique Western Buddhism. This is not a process. With “process,” there is already a plan and a self to activate the plan. This path is just being, present without any knowing, present in each moment with whatever we find there.
Insight meditation emerges out of Theravadin Buddhism which is far from sterile. In its monastic form there is a strong sangha bound together by vinaya, or monastic discipline, and dharma. The tradition draws together the blend of sila (moral awareness), samadhi (concentration) and panna (wisdom). An unmentioned leg of devotion is also present, an intimate part of daily life. When the practice is a part of the whole fabric of life, there is a balance. What happens to this balance when we remove the practice of vipassana from its environment and put it into forty-five minute sittings or weekend retreats? Certain problems arise, which have been written and spoken about in vipassana circles before. At its worst, the practice becomes an escape from the relative universe. At its best, there is deep insight which does carry into daily, mindful living, an opening of the heart in love and joy and much freedom, a growing sense of gracefulness about our lives.
Deep awareness of dependent arising can lead us into understanding the self-less nature of our mind/body experience but such comprehension does not insure that we can or will live the truth we understand. There is a fine line between understanding and living that understanding, a line which we cross only when we understand from the heart and not merely from intellect. From the heart, there must be a willingness to open, to be vulnerable. That willingness often grows out of faith and devotion, but these are less easily nurtured in a formless practice.
Using a simple example, a glass falls on the floor and shatters, liquid splashing everywhere, and the “it’s not fair” or “why is he (am I) so careless” stories start. We may note the mind shifting into stories, into papańca or obsessive thought, simply a conditioned reaction. For our practice to have central meaning in our lives, seeing is not enough. We pick up a red hot coal only once and drop it quickly because it burns; we find it much harder to drop the hot coals of old mind conditioning because of ancient beliefs that somehow these mind movements and behaviors have kept us safe. What leads us to a willingness to note the stories and cease to involve ourselves in a relationship with them which begs their proliferation? It’s one thing to know what’s happening, another to be willing to take responsibility for what we see. We can train ourselves in mindfulness and decide to be present, but acting from that place of presence must come from the heart. So a central question was, after removing all the traditional forms, what is there to guide us back into the heart?
Devotion seemed to be one necessary component that was lacking. The primary question: devotion to what? Especially in a sangha made up of Buddhists, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and others, and those who have turned away from any organized religion, this answer must be understood.
In traditional Buddhist practice, devotion is an outgrowth of living in the dharma. We take refuge in Buddha, Dharma and Sangha and express devotion as we serve these three “gems.” How does one give these terms meaning to a non-Buddhist? The Buddha is not just the traditional Buddha but all he represents; Buddha nature or awakened mind. He is not only the Buddha “out there” but the Buddha within. When we see how our suffering is really reduced by living in this already present awakened mind, devotion to the truth of awakened mind is fostered.
Dharma is an expression of awakened mind. We become devoted to the deepest truths as we come to know them experientially and taste freedom there, devoted to living these truths and sharing them with others. We see those who are very unawake and how they suffer. We experience the power of our community to inspire and strengthen our practice. Devotion arises also to our entire, worldwide community, practicing and not, and compassion arises for those who are struggling. All of these things open the heart.
Those just beginning to practice can’t begin with these three refuges though because they only take on real meaning as depth of understanding develops. At Deep Spring we start more simply, with sila and mindfulness, drawn together. I like to start class semesters and retreats with the Tiep Hien Precepts, the precepts of interbeing. I chose to use these precepts because of their acceptability to people of all faiths. These lead us to basic questions which we may watch with mindfulness. For example:
13. Possess nothing that should belong to others. Respect the property of others. Prevent others from enriching themselves from the suffering of humans or other beings.
In what ways do I take that which is not mine? Do I take more than my share? Can I become more mindful of when, why and how this happens? Do I speak my concern to others who do so?
Students find that to answer these questions, to even be aware of their presence, they must be in the present moment, present with their growing loving concern, their opening heart of connection. We observe that we’re moved by multiple motivations. Some are based on fear or judgment, for example not taking because we have been taught that we “shouldn’t,” that to do so means we’re “bad,” and some are based on our deepest truth, for example not taking because we truly wish to do no harm, because we feel deep lovingkindness and interconnection.
As we observe these multiple motivations in ourselves, we observe our habitual response to fear and judgment. Most of us have acted toward what we see as negative within our experience with contempt and dislike. With such reaction, the heart closes. When we can observe ourselves with more kindness we invite the heart to remain open. We invite compassion. In this way, even anger and greed can become catalysts for compassion rather than for hatred.
At this point we begin to connect with a deeper part of our being which is fearless and ever-spacious. This is the already awakened heart, bodhichitta. It is already and always present but perhaps we’ve had little access to it; It must be nurtured carefully, like a tender seed. At Deep Spring, the brahma-vihara practices such as lovingkindness and compassion, formal practices which nurture bodhichitta such as practice of the seven branch prayer in whatever non-denominational form seems appropriate, and the introduction of dzogchen-like, pure awareness practice are taught as a partner to vipassana, right from the beginning.
This pure heart/mind is our “natural state.” I find it’s already familiar for most students and becomes a stable place to rest. From that spaciousness, we can see our fixations, our neuroses, our fears with more lightness and humor. Resting in meditation in itself then becomes the “form,” guiding us deeper into devotion, faith and the open heart.
In this way, students are aided to maintain a balance and guided away from any tendency to use vipassana noting as escape. There is less movement to use practice as a way to attack and fix ourselves when we have been reminded to rediscover and rest in the ever perfect in ourselves, right from the start. At the same time, sila practice leads us away from complacency and into increased responsibility, but from a motivation of love, not one of fear.
As we understand conditioned arising there is more space around “fear” and we cease to be slaves to it. Then we become more responsible, not because we “should” be, but because we come to understand deeply that we always have a choice and that, in any situation, we may choose lovingkindness and compassion, even when there is fear. We uncover a part of ourselves that knows its readiness to be responsible, that sees its highest priorities toward freedom and happiness for all beings. We find a verified faith in our “Buddha nature,” by whatever label our own religious beliefs call that nature, as we deeply experience our innate wholeness, strength, love and spaciousness and the power these have to help us live skillfully, whatever pleasant or unpleasant circumstances may arise.
As practice deepens, we have clearer insight into the nature of the phenomenal world. We stop seeing so much in terms of dualities and see instead how everything that arises is ongoing expression of the Unconditioned. At Deep Spring we do talk about this, introducing terms like Dharmakaya or “truth body,” sambhogakaya or “wealth body,” and nirmanakaya or “form body.” We observe the essence of dharmakaya in every conditioned expression. We look at these terms in a non-traditional way though. “Father, Son and Holy Spirit “ are another statement of the three kayas. Old Jewish teachings offer the same statement. The Hebrew “shlemut” is another word for sambhogakaya. What is important is the opening into nondual experience. Guided both by meditation and through the signposts that discussion may offer, we stop dividing experience into “good and evil,” “perfect and imperfect,” and so forth.
As we begin to literally observe that everything is dharmakaya, or phrased in another way, there is nothing that is not God, we gain still more spaciousness in our being. Much fear and judgment falls away naturally as we open into deeper truth, not Buddhist truth, but truth. This opening is the fruition of our practice, inseparable from the many tools of meditation which have helped us discover opening. It is the opening into the full balance of wisdom and compassion.
Copyright © 2001 by Barbara Brodsky